PVCC Puma Press: December 2004

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	AP Photo/Tuscaloosa News, Neil Brake
	“Just before Dad died, he told me all about a red cardinal that started using his bird feeder.”
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What was that incessant ringing in my ears? Why wouldn’t it stop? It was the phone buried under the blanket on my bed just next to my ear. Who on earth could it be at this time of the morning? The clock read 2:40 a.m. The caller I.D. read Grim William M. and my parents number. I answered, “This is Janice.” ¶My Mom was on the phone and she sounded tired and upset. She explained to me that Dad had called her from his bedroom during the night. He wasn’t feeling well and after taking two nitroglycerin tablets, he had decided to lay back down on his bed and go to sleep. Mom said, “It was so peaceful. He just laid down and went to sleep and he was gone.”

I cried as I asked if she was OK. She told me that she was, and I told her that I needed to think about what I was going to do. I was 2,000 miles away from Leesport, Pa., in Phoenix, Ariz. Phoenix has been my home for the last 23 years, but I visit Mom and Dad at least annually and when I couldn’t go to them, they would come to me.

We talked on the phone on a daily basis, and in the past few months, it was nothing for me to talk to them two or three times a day. I couldn’t be there in person to help, but I could listen and help solve problems and make suggestions. Sometimes, a call was just enough to get Dad’s mind off of how he was feeling and make him laugh. I also sent them lots of pictures so they felt like they were included in what I was doing and seeing. It helped to pass the time and it gave us things to talk about on the telephone.

I had talked to Dad just the day before he died, Sunday, and on Saturday we had a very long telephone conversation while my Mom was out running errands. He talked a lot that day and he said some things that were peculiar for him to say. But now, after-the-fact, I wondered if he didn’t know that he was leaving soon and that he was telling me that it would be OK.

He told me that he wasn’t mad at anyone and that he didn’t want me or Mom to be upset with anyone either. He said that he felt pretty well. And then he launched into this long tale about the red cardinal that had come to visit his bird feeder. He was so proud of that fact, and we were always telling each other what kinds of birds came to eat the bird food today. It was interesting because we both had a different menagerie of birds.

I thought of all these things as I winged my way to Pennsylvania for my Dad’s funeral. Mom picked me up at the airport and we talked for a while before we headed for home. It was 4:00 in the afternoon and a bright sunny day. As we drove in the driveway, I happened to look at the birdfeeder that my Dad had made. It was off to the left of the car and there was my Dad’s red cardinal bidding me hello. Mom and I were both amazed. I looked toward the garage hoping to see the garage door open and my Dad sitting in his wheeled business chair, leaning on his cane and waving to us, but it was not to be.

Dad had spent a lot of time in his garage. He had made many a marvelous thing, from small wooden Christmas tree ornaments to foot-high snowmen with their painted smiles, felt hats and tiny knitted scarves made by my Mom. He also had made large Queen Anne style jewelry chests, quilt holders and even larger curio cabinets and corner cabinets. He was very proud of the things that he made and put a lot of effort and love into them all.

Dad also spent a lot of time in the garage after he had gone just a little too far in teasing my Mom. He knew when he needed to leave her to herself for a while, and so he would head off to the garage until she wasn’t quite so miffed with him. He’d have lots of visits from neighbors and friends and eventually Mom would come out and join him, too.

My Dad was quite a prankster, even when he wasn’t feeling too well. Mom said, “We were just discussing that Shane (their grandson) has a birthday on March 30, 2003 and he will be 30 years old. Dad thought that was a big deal.”

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“I had seen three red cardinals in three weeks...I think that my Dad is just trying to let me know that he is still ...watching over Mom and me.”
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We thought that Dad probably decided that he would have to show Shane up by dying on March 3, 2003. To those that didn’t know my Dad that sounded weird, but for those who did know him, it made perfect sense and even brought smiles to their faces.

Thursday morning, March 6, 2003, dawned a very miserable, dreary day. It started with rain, evolved into sleet and by mid-morning it was snowing and blowing. We decided that Dad did not like the funeral arrangements that were made and he was showing his displeasure. He wanted a graveside service, and instead, there was a viewing for the family and a long service at the funeral parlor. Afterward, we proceeded to the cemetery where the service and interment was concluded.

We as a family appreciated and were overwhelmed by the outpouring of good wishes and people who turned out for the funeral. The funeral parlor was packed and we had calls after the service from other friends and family who would have also attended had the weather been better. It was very gratifying to hear all of the wonderful stories about my Dad, but I could just picture him scowling because he was never a man who wanted his praises sung.

At the funeral parlor, the pastor asked for any stories that people wished to share with us about my Dad. Lisa Hertzog told the story about the Noah’s ark she had asked Dad to make for a church program. She wanted something simple, but my Dad had constructed a small intricate ark with all of the animals. She couldn’t believe how much effort he had put into the project.

Scott Graeff, one of the township policemen, related how he had asked Dad to make a cupola for the top of his barn at his new home. Dad did a stellar job with that project, but the cupola was made so well and was so heavy that it took quite a few people to get it onto the roof.

My cousin, Sandy, told the story of how she thought Dad was her dad when she was a little girl. Her dad was in the service, but every night Uncle Grimmy would come home from working on the farm and bring Sandy and her sister candy and take them for a ride in his car up and down the alley behind my grandparent’s house. He always was very kind and protective of children.

On Sunday, I headed back to Phoenix to try to get back to my life. I did the best I could during the week and went to the Desert Botanical Garden on Saturday. As I sat on their patio eating lunch, I saw a flash of red in one of the many trees surrounding the patio. It was a red cardinal.

The following Saturday, I was walking at the Boyce Thompson Arboretum and another patch of red caught my eye in a nearby tree. Another cardinal was peering down at me. I had seen three red cardinals in three weeks. Some might say that these were just coincidences, but I think that my Dad is just trying to let me know that he is still out there watching over Mom and me and he seems to be doing a pretty good job as he always did.
Mom and I still talk daily on the telephone. She has been out to visit me a couple of times since my Dad’s death and we talk about him and reminisce about the good and the bad times. She wears a pendant and I wear a ring bearing the image of a red cardinal in remembrance of my Dad. So even though he’s not here in person, he remains with us in our hearts and in our memories.