PVCC Puma Press: November 2007

Sitting in a lawn chair on her backyard patio in North Phoenix, Jennifer Dunn, 19, inhales a drag of her cigarette. She watches her 18-month-old son, Christian, run back and forth squealing after he pushes a button that activates a scream from the fake ghoul hanging from an orange tree.

Like many women at a very young age, Jennifer is having to persevere through one of nature’s most difficult challenges: motherhood.

Jennifer became pregnant at 17, and Christian’s father, Joey Rodriguez, was younger still at only 15. For the first few months of her pregnancy Jennifer dreaded the idea of being a mother, but through time she has come to view Christian as an unexpected blessing; he is the best gift she never asked for.

“When I found out I was pregnant, it was really hard to deal with. I was so upset. I was angry, in shock.” She cocks her head to the side, as if looking into a nonexistent distance and bites her right thumbnail for a second.

“There were just so many emotions all at once that I can’t even pinpoint exactly how I felt,” she says. “The really weird thing was that about a week before I found out, I was staying the night at Joey’s, and my mom called. She was asking me if I was pregnant and when I asked her why, she said it was because she just had a dream that I was.” Jennifer lets out an extra large cloud of smoke from her lips.

Christian has had enough of playing with the screaming ghoul. He is now interested in what I have. He climbs onto my lap and starts grasping for my mechanical pencil, begging, “Pwease? Pwease? Pwease?”

I hand him my pencil, and he begins to draw various lines and scribbles on the corner of my Steno pad. After a moment of intense concentration, he hands me back my pencil and pad. He smiles and says, “Hew-uh-go.”

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	He's my life, my everything. The day I had him was honestly the best day of my life
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I smile back admiring his work and give him a kiss on the forehead in thanks before he skips off.

Jennifer continues. “The one thing I really hated about being pregnant is the misconceptions people have. I got weird looks from strangers since I looked so young. People assume that if you’re pregnant and you’re a teenager, you’re automatically a slut, and that’s totally not the case with me. Joey was the only guy I ever slept with. It would really piss me off.”

With abortions being so readily available to young girls today, Jennifer could have easily put off the difficulties of being a parent until she was older and more prepared. In fact, she didn’t consider it.

“I would never ever get an abortion! I think I would hate myself forever if I did…” she says. “There are a lot of hard things about being a mom obviously, but the good things are what make it worth it.”

Jennifer hears a faint trickle of liquid and turns to investigate where the sound is coming from. Christian has removed his diaper and is now standing on the other side of the patio nonchalantly relieving himself onto the concrete. He looks up to see her watching him and laughs. She, of course, joins him in doing so.

Jennifer continues to watch Christian for a moment with a smirk of adoration and amusement on her face.

She turns back toward me and lights another cigarette.

“The hardest part is adjusting to the fact that your life is no longer your own; that you’re responsible for another human being forever. Your kid always comes first. It’s always about the kid. It’s made me mature a lot faster. Before Christian, I was kind of a rebel, but now, like, I have my diploma, I have my license, and I have a job. When you have a kid, you have to get your s#!t together," she says.

“The best part about having a child is watching him hit all the milestones. You know, like, saying ‘Mommy’ for the first time, taking his first step, using the potty, getting his first tooth. When Christian got his first tooth, it was really emotional for me. I thought I saw something in his mouth and as soon as I realized what it was, I just started crying. I couldn’t believe he was growing so fast.”

She remains silent for a moment looking down at the cigarette in her right hand and her eyes begin to glisten. She tries to hide her tears by shaking her long black bangs out of her face and taking an extended drag from her cigarette. I do not let on that she has failed in doing so.

“He’s my life, my everything,” she says. “I don’t know what I would do without him. He is the reason I wake up every morning. The day I had him was honestly the best day of my life.”

As if on cue, Christian waddles up to Jennifer and pulls himself onto her lap.

“I love you,” she says as she rubs her nose into his cheek. He giggles and playfully pushes her face away with his little hand.

“Say ‘I love you’ back to Mommy,” she tells him, giving him an exaggerated pout and big puppy eyes. When he does not respond, she begins to make quiet sniffling noises.

He sways back and forth on her lap, smiling at her.

When he still fails to respond, Jennifer’s fake sniffs get louder and she pretends to cry while covering her face up with her free hand. Christian’s smile turns into a look of concern.

“I lud do! I lud do!” he exclaims, wrapping his arms around her neck quickly.

Jennifer pulls him into her with a tight embrace and gives him a long, loud kiss on the side of his neck. He lets out high pitched squeals and laughs until he manages to wriggle himself free. Then he runs into the house.

“I really do love him more than anything,” she says watching him run out of sight. This time she doesn’t even try to hide the tears in her eyes.